Interracial Couples Therapy
“As a Black lesbian mother in an interracial marriage, there was usually some part of me guaranteed to offend everybody’s comfortable prejudices of who I should be.”― Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches
“As a Black lesbian mother in an interracial marriage, there was usually some part of me guaranteed to offend everybody’s comfortable prejudices of who I should be.”
― Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches
Do any of these sound familiar?
Creating a life together is like a rocky mountain range, full of adventure but incredibly challenging.
Interracial relationships can be amazing, but let’s be honest, when two individuals from different worlds come together to build a life, unique challenges inevitably arise.
Family matters can become a tricky terrain to navigate. The varying expectations from family of origin regarding level of involvement, financial obligations, and differing definitions of privacy create a tug-of-war between your roots and your relationship, sometimes leaving you torn.
Cultural differences, especially when dealing with parenting decisions, can pose significant challenges. The diverse backgrounds may make it extremely challenging to get on the same page, causing friction in crucial aspects of life.
Broaching topics of racism and microaggressions can be sensitive, and when met with defensiveness or dismissal, it creates a treasure trove of painful disconnection and communication barriers.
Navigating racial, social, and cultural pressures creates expectations to fit into a mold that had already felt impossible to fit into. At times this may leave you feeling isolated in your relationship and sometimes even from yourself.
“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it’s destination full of hope.” -Maya Angelou
How Counseling can ACTUALLY help?
Couples counseling will help you uncross those wires, slow things down, and really investigate where things went wrong. You will learn tools to deepen your understanding of you and your partners defensiveness which often comes from vulnerability and attachment wounds. Counseling will give you insight into these cycles and equip you with effective strategies to stop the negative cycles in their tracks. You will learn how to replace them with healthier responses that promote healing and connection.
These strategies will give you the power to create a safe space for you and your partner to address topics that may have been avoided or consistently led to arguments. You won’t be navigating these waters alone anymore; you will have a guide and a personalized roadmap informed by evidence based approaches.
How it Works:
Still feeling a bit uncertain? That is perfectly normal. Let me walk you through what the first few sessions typically look like.
Session 1 & 2: Let’s Dive In!
- To kick it off you will both have the opportunity to share your thoughts about the relationship issues. I will challenge you both to reflect on your own contributions to these issues as well because in order for growth to flourish you both have to create a different environment in order to expect different results.
- I will ask you both a series of questions designed to quickly gather an overview of the relationship. We will discuss strengths, weaknesses and important elements of your relationship present and past.
- We will spend some time talking about each of your upbringings and how communication was handled in your house growing up. Often these early experiences inform us of what a relationship should and shouldn’t be so they are important to understand.
- You will participate in a “conflict discussion” in which you pick a topic that holds some tension for you both and you will engage in a discussion about it for 15 to 20 minutes so I can observe how you work through conflict.
Session 3: Let’s Make a Plan
- Once I have gathered all this information we will work together to create a personalized action plan to address the goals you are hoping to achieve.
Following Sessions: Getting Traction
- As we progress, real-life issues will become opportunities to practice your new skills.
- Once you’ve mastered the basics, we’ll venture into more advanced techniques, empowering both of you to better understand each other and fortify your bond. This journey is about growth and connection, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.
We’re not just here to chat; we’re here to help you take tangible steps toward the joy filled relationship you both deserve.
